Blend with an immersion blender in a wide mouth mason jar all ingredients, except herbs for approximately one minute. Start with the immersion blender at the bottom of your jar working your way up to the top. Don't start moving your blender upwards until you see it thickening up.
Incorporate the herbs during the last 15 seconds or it will turn your ranch green. Store in the fridge for up to one week.
A large handful of fresh herbs of your choice can be used in place of dried parsley. Our favorites are cilantro, parsley and dill.
If your ranch is too thin:
Make sure you are using full fat canned coconut milk. If you want a dip like consistency use only the solid cream, but for a dressing, use the cream and the liquid. It may also thicken up just being in the fridge for a few hours.
Make sure you're using an immersion blender for guaranteed success.
Use a small container, like a mason jar or salad dressing container.
HERE IS THE TRICK TO SAVING YOUR DUMP RANCH... If your ranch never thickens it probably didn't emulsify properly. Just add another egg! Yep, that's all it takes to quickly save all those ingredients.
Select saute function on Instant Pot and let it heat until it says "HOT".
Add bacon to pot and cook until crisp, about 5 minutes. Remove bacon to a plate lined with paper towels.
Cook the onion in the bacon drippings until tender, about 3 minutes. Scrape up the brown bits on the bottom of the pot as the onions cook.
Add soaked beans and all other ingredients, except bacon. Select high pressure and cook for 30 minutes. When it has finished cooking, let pressure release naturally for 15 minutes, then do a quick pressure release.
Make sure beans are completely cooked, then add bacon and serve.
Set Instant Pot to saute. When it says HOT, add oil.
Add ground beef, onions and garlic to pot. Cook until meat is browned, stirring to break up meat. Season with salt, pepper, thyme and Worcestershire sauce as it is cooking.
Add tomato paste, water and beef base. Stir to scrape up any bits stuck to the bottom of the pot. Add elbows. Press cancel to stop Saute.
Lock lid in place and seal valve. Cook on high pressure for 4 minutes. (Cook time may vary with the kind of pasta you choose to use). Quick release the pressure. Stir in half of the cheese. Serve remaining cheese on the side.